Chazz's Evil Plans
by NightmareGlitter
Summary: Chazz's plans, in order from A to Z, to win Alexis' love. T for making fun of Chazz, bitter rejection, and very slight sexual references. Parody, constructive criticism is ok.
1. Plan A

**A/N: I need to stop writing new stories. But these chaps are short. Help me, I have obsessive compulsive writing disorder! T-T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. I also owe partial credit to Angel Duelist 153 for helping me draw the comic this was based off of.**

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Chapter 1: Plan A

Chazz peered around the corner at Alexis, smirking. He had worked so hard to get her before, but never like this. Oh, this time was different. This time, he'd get her for sure, thanks to the brilliance his mind had concocted.

"Time to put Plan A into effect!" he laughed softly to himself.

He watched until he saw Bastion start to walk by. Creeping around the corner, he purposely crashed into him. Their books went flying everywhere.

"BASTION! Watch where you're going!" Chazz snapped in his most deep, manly, bellowing voice. Or at least he hoped it was.

"Why, hello there, old chap." Bastion said good naturedly as he picked up their things, "how are you on this fine morning?"

Chazz leaned against the wall and glanced over at Alexis. She was looking their way, one of her eyebrows arched in suspicious disgust. He paid no heed to it.

"So, Bastion…I heard some rumors about you."

"What sort of rumors?"

"Well, Atticus and I were talking, and the subject of homosexuality just happened to come up. That's when he told me he saw you and Jaden walking together, and you had an arm around him. Tell me, Bastion, are you gay?"

"What?" Bastion looked startled. "Why would you think that? It's simply a friendly gesture that--"

"You're not answering my question," Chazz smirked, "because if you are gay…"

Here, he paused dramatically and took Bastion's hand in his own, "Then I'd like to say that I want to be your boyfriend. Bastion, I realized I was gay. I want to date you. I love you."

Bastion's eyes widened. "Really, Chazz?"

He nodded, "Really, Bastion."

"What about Alexis?"

"She doesn't matter. All that matters is the deep love we share."

"Oh, Chazz! I'm so glad we talked! I AM gay and I DO love you, too!"

"What?!" Chazz's jaw dropped. Glancing over at Alexis, he saw she wasn't as frantic as he'd imagined she would be either. "Wait, this isn't supposed to--"

"Chazz, do you like science? We can study science together! We can MAKE science!"

Chazz grimaced. "Actually…"

Alexis stood up, throwing her book down in disgust. "Ugh. He's gay. Now I'm really glad I rejected him!"

"AAAAA!!!" Chazz tried to protest as she walked past him.

"Oh, Chazz…" Bastion grabbed his hand and looked at him with starry eyes, blushing.

"Nevermind, Bastion, I just realized I like girls."

Chazz grimaced and tore away, leaving Bastion standing confused as he rushed out the door.

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**A/N: I know it's short compared to my usual stuff. But it has to be. There are 26 plans, one for each letter of the alphabet. I'll continue it later. XD**


	2. Plan B

**A/N: Chazz's first plan bombed, how will this one fare? Survey says, not well… XDDDDDDDD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Partial credit of fic to Angel Duelist 153. We rox!!! XP**

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Plan B:

Chazz sighed heavily, sitting on the steps of Duel Academy. So what? His first plan had bombed. That didn't mean he was going to give up. That was the one thing he'd learned from hanging around Jaden so much: never give up. With a renewed determination, he got to his feet.

He paced trying to conjure up a most evil plan, one that simply must work. However, in order to conquer his enemy, or rather, love, he must know her. Now, who would know her best? Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, he pondered this.

Seeing Atticus walk by, it dawned on him. Of course! His teacher of all things love-related, as well as Alexis' brother. He was perfect for the job.

"Hey, Atty, wanna help me win your sister's heart?"

"Again?" Atticus asked, smiling broadly, mischief twinkling in his chocolate eyes, "I thought you'd never ask. I heard your last plan crashed and burned."

"You couldn't have put it any more aptly." Chazz sighed, heavy hearted. "I've tried all I know. What must I do now?"

"Think outside the box. Girls love it when you do something unique. If you want to be an individual, and give her a suitor that stands out, write her a song and perform it. Music can be used to convey any and every emotion. And," here, he leaned in as though to share a great secret, smirking, "it score big with the ladies. A lady loves a musician."

"Sounds good to me!" Chazz exclaimed, smirking and rubbing his hands together in anticipation, "Thanks, Atty."

"Sure, anything for my favorite student." Atticus winked at him.

Chazz rushed off to find Alexis.

Alexis was minding her own business, innocently studying for a quiz. All of the sudden, she heard footsteps, eager footsteps. Glancing up, she sighed in dismay upon seeing the youngest Princeton.

Chazz cleared his throat and opened his mouth to sing:

"_OH, ALEXIS!!!!!_

_YOU ARE BEAUTIFUUUUUULLLLL…_

_SOOOOO BEAUTIFUUUUUUULLLLLL…_

_BUT I LIKE YOU FOR YOOOOOUUUUU…  
SOOOOOO BEAUTIFUUUUUULLLLL…_

_YES, BUT I LOVE YOU FOR YOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU…"_

He stopped, panting, looking at her with adoring, puppy-dog eyes. She, on the other hand, had her hands clamped firmly over her ears, a look of cringing disgust on her face.

"That was _horrible._" She informed him, leaving him feeling like a deflated tire, "Don't _ever,_ and I mean, EVER sing again…You sound worse than Atty! And that wasn't even a song!"

Chazz sighed heavily and began to trudge out. Before he reached the door, though, he smiled and winked at her.

"I'll be back…baby…"

She cringed as he continued.

"After all," he said seductively, leaning in the doorway, "The Chazz never gives up until he has won his lady. And we both know you love me, so sooner or later, you'll have to give in."

He winked a final time and walked away, trying to look as suave as possible. Alexis gagged.

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**A/N: Kudos to you, Chazz for trying. But that is definitely NOT the way to win your lady's heart… XDDDDD Still, you provide wonderful entertainment! I love you, Chazzy, but you can be a dork. XD Please review!!! (for Chazz's sake so he can know that doesn't work….)**


	3. Plan C

**A/N: Chazz just gets dumber and dumber…. XD **

**Chazz: Stop being so mean to me!  
Me: Stop your whining and take it like a man. Anyway, here is the next evil plan. **

**: D Hey, that rhymes! XD (I'm such a dork…) YAY DORKS!!! XDDDDD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped write this in comic form…**

**IMPORTANT WARNING…BTW this is not making fun of anyone but Chazz. Any content in this fic that anyone might find offensive is not meant to poke fun at any group or type of person. It's solely to show how far Chazz will go to win Alexis' heart.**

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Plan C: 

Chazz stormed over to Atticus, ticked that his last plan had failed so miserable. Atticus looked up from his own song and smiled.

"How's it going? So, did she like it?"

"No, she hated it and it's your fault for giving such crappy advice!" Chazz snapped.

Atticus held up his hands in mock surrender. "Hey, my b…look, I'll make it up to you by giving you another tip…"

"I don't want it." Chazz sniffed.

"Come on, Chazzy," Atticus protested, "It's a great idea…I promise you it will work."

"Ok, fine. I've got nothing else to lose, after all."

"Well," Atticus smirked, his eyes gleaming, "Sissy doesn't like you because you're too skinny."

"What?!"

"You see, Alexis likes a guy with a little more, er, meat on his bones. So, I think you should gain some weight."

"But I can't--"

"Then go to this website and order something." Atticus handed him a card, smirking bigger. "I promise you, it works."

Chazz shouldn't have listened to the older Rhodes, however, he was willing to try anything thanks to his lack of patience and his abundance of persistence.

Hurriedly, he went back to his room and typed in the address. Seeing that the site sold potions, he began to wonder about the safety of it. He thought about it for a moment, then decided it was worth whatever side effects came with it. He scrolled down until he found something.

"Ah-HA!" He read aloud to himself, "Fatlet potion, guaranteed to add some weight and change your overall physical appearance to look chubbier, happier, and healthier. Hmmm…I guess it's worth a shot…Besides, it says here under this picture of this dude with all these hot chicks 'Fat n Happy…' I'll do it!"

Chazz ordered the potion. Immediately, his printer began to make strange noises. Glancing over, his eyes widened as the printer spewed a bottle out. It hit the floor with a thud.

"That was fast," he muttered, picking it up. "I hope this works…"

Chazz popped the cap off and, ignoring the instructions as guys often do, took a big gulp. Instantly, he was transformed into a South Park version of himself in a pink cloud of sparkly smoke.

"Cool…" he muttered, even though he really didn't think so.

He busted out of his room with confidence. Girls stared at him as he marched down the path, towards the school.

"I must be really hot…" He thought, smiling.

"Look, Alexis," Jasmine pointed, "It's an ugly fatlet. Well, it's kinda cute…"

"Jas, that's not nice…" Alexis began, "So what if someone has some curves? It never was a bad thing. I mean--whoa."

The two girls stared at Chazz. He was most unattractive to say the least. Yes, unattractive because he was Chazz and he looked like a South Park character, but kind of cute…in an ugly way, just like Sartorious.

"Hey, Lexi!" Chazz called in a squeaky voice, "Do ya wanna go out?" He ran a hand through his hair, grinning and trying to look sexy.

"Uh, I just remembered; I have to give Atticus his flea bath." Alexis muttered, grimacing and shuddering.

She ran.

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**A/N: XDDDDD  
Once again, not making fun of anyone. Only Chazz and South Park. XDDD BTW, I don't own South Park either. It's the only way I can describe the pic that I drew of him….only, he's a bit cuter than that. He has an oval face, little beady eyes, stick spikes, a cute, fat body, and powerpuff girl arms…not chibi, not Chazzy…**

**A friend described him as a fatlet, so that's where that came from. It's the only way to describe that cartoon character of him…ARGH! I should just put it up on the Internet somewhere. Whatever you think, just DON'T TAKE OFFENSE. Please. (sweatdrops) I'm not critical and I'm not prejudice.**


	4. Plan D

**A/N: Chazz just won't give up, will he? And why is he still trusting Atticus for help? He's obviously poking fun at him. At least, I hope so. If Atty is serious, then he needs to get to know his sister better…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Partial credit to Angel Duelist 153 for the comic we made in September. XD Goood times, my friend, goooood times!**

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Plan D:  
"Well, the last plan bombed," Chazz muttered as he stormed down the hall to where Atticus was sitting.

"Atticus!" he snapped.

The older Rhodes looked up and grinned. "Hey, Chazz, what's up?"  
"What's up?" Chazz snarled, "Did you not see what happened? Did you not hear? How can you be so calm after all that? Won't you at least apologize for tricking me like that?"

"Oh, Chazzy, Chazzy, Chazzy…" Atticus sighed, shaking his head, "I never meant any harm. I was only trying to help. Look, let me make it up to you. I have another piece of information, that is, if you want it."

"No, I most certainly do not." Chazz muttered, sticking his nose vainly in the air. "I'd rather not take advice from fools such as you."

"Oh, that was harsh. C'mon, Chazzy…"

"Fine!" he snapped, "If it will shut you up and if it will work. Be serious about this. This is a life and death matter to me, thank you."  
"Ok, Chazz, I promise it'll work. Ok, Alexis just _loves_ babies…so why don't you become one and she'll love you?"

"That is the stupidest idea I've yet to hear come out of _that_ wretched mouth."

"Aww, come on, Chazz, I'm dead serious. I promise."

"Fine!" he snapped. "But just so long as you aren't pulling my leg."

"Hey, I swear I'm not." Atticus beamed.

Chazz muttered something incoherent, yet it sounded as though he might've just called Atticus a very insulting name. Nevertheless, he foolishly took the older Rhodes' advice.

Going back to the website, he ordered 'Baby Potion.' Just as last time, it came flying out through the printer as soon as the transaction was completed. He drank some, ignoring the instructions once more, all the while muttering terrible things about Atticus. He was instantly transformed into a baby in a sparkly pink poof of smoke.

"Dammit," he thought, "How am I gonna get Alexis to see me?"

He managed to crawl out of his room. Thankfully for him, Alexis was standing nearby, waiting for Zane.

She glanced in his direction and did a double take. He smiled sweetly up at her, working all his charm on her.

"AWWWWW!!!!!" She swooned, momentarily growing puppy ears and a tail.

Picking him up, she cuddled him and talked to him, still doting on him.

"Lil' sweetheart…." She murmured, kissing him on the top of the head, "I like you as a baby, but not as a boyfriend."

He giggled and blushed, more than amused. Finally, his plan had worked! Maybe Atticus wasn't such a bad guy, after all.

At that moment, he disappeared in another sparkly pink cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, Alexis' eyes widened.

"That beast!" she thought, "I'll kill him!...Ack! I can't hold him up…."

"Aww, crap." Chazz muttered, still blushing.

For a moment, she could only gawk at him, while she still had her lips glued to his temple. Her knees began to buckle under his weight. She finally dropped him.

_SMACK!!!!!_

"OUCH!!!!" He rubbed the sore, red spot on his cheek.

She stormed away, peeved.

"Crap." He growled, "Now Atticus got me in more trouble! DAMN YOU, ATTICUS RHODES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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**A/N: XDDDDDD Damn you, Atty, indeed! How dare you give him such terrible advice! I bet Atty knew that would happen. : ) He's probably laughing his ass off at Chazz and saying something like "I can't believe he fell for it!" XD At least, I hope he is. If anyone actually thought that could work, they're stupid. XD**


	5. Plan E

**A/N: Chazz's plans just get dumber and dumber, along with his reasoning. You'll see what I mean. XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped me come up with this in a comic we drew. : P**

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Plan E:

Chazz slinked in the halls, snickering to himself. He wasn't too happy that his last plan had failed; however, this time, it was because he hadn't read the directions, not because Atticus steered him wrong. However, he decided he was done listening to Atticus. It wasn't like Atticus could really help him anyway. He had to do this on his own; he had to be a man about it. Then Alexis would love him. Obviously, he'd recovered from Alexis' violent rejection. And, as of now, he was coming up with a most beautiful plan.

"Jealousy always works," he cackled to himself, rubbing his hands together in anticipation, "And I know of only one person Alexis would hate for me to go for and who would also agree to this…"

He paused dramatically, then smirked as he imagined an invisible camera zooming in on his face. "…Jasmine…"

Laughing again to himself, he crept stealthily around the corner to catch his victim. Peering around, he saw Jasmine coming, muttering to herself.

"Oh, Jasmine!" He called in a sing-song voice, "You're soooo pretty. I like red hair so much more than blonde. Blonde is, er, too common. And blondes are usually ditzy. Redheads rock! Let's make-out!"

It was obvious that he was faking it. However, Jasmine was too boy crazy to pay any attention to this. She smirked and flipped her hair, growing arrogant due to the fact that Chazz had put Alexis down in order to impress her.

"Like, sure," she replied, then, almost as an afterthought to herself, "Ack! My nails need repainting….C'mon, sexy."

Chazz peeked over his shoulder, scanning the horizon for Alexis.

"Is she jealous?" he wondered.

His heart leapt when he saw Alexis gawking, obviously peeved that he had found a new lover. However, her next sentence sent his ego down to the bottom of the ocean.

"Man, that is a new low. Good thing he won't be chasing after me anymore."

She walked away, turning her back on them and frowning. Chazz facefaulted.

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**A/N: I know, that was short. Oh, well, at least he didn't go to Atty this time! XD Stay tuned for evil plan F!!!!**


	6. Plan F

**A/N: I have nothing to say about this chapter except for: Wow. Chazz, you are sooo stupid. XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped me draw and write the comic version of this.**

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Plan F:

Chazz smirked as he stood around the corner, watching Alexis at her locker talking to her friends. His smirk grew wider as he thought about his next plan. And, oh, what an evil plan it was! Just thinking about it made him laugh to himself.

"This time," he muttered, his eyes gleaming, "I will get her for sure!"

Cackling wickedly, he darted out the back door and raced to his room. Breathless, he burst in his door and quickly turned his computer on. Once more, he visited the potion website.

His eyes scanned for the wanted product. "Ah-HA!"

He clicked, then completed the transaction. Once again, the printer coughed the bottle out. Now that he thought about it, his printer didn't look so good. Perhaps he should stop ordering from this website. Of course, he would after today. After all, today was the day that his plan finally worked; today was the day that Alexis would love him.

Hurriedly, he scrambled out the door and to the cafeteria. He sure hoped he still had time.

He was in luck. Breakfast had just started, and Alexis had gotten up to get some napkins. Snickering to himself, he looked both ways, then indiscreetly poured the potion in her drink. He quickly slinked into the shadows to watch, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Alexis came back, still talking with her friends. They sat down together and began to eat.

"It's only a matter of time," He whispered hoarsely, barely able to contain his excitement, "before Alexis gets thirsty. Then, she'll drink her orange juice, which, unbeknownst to her, contains this 'Love Potion.' When she drinks this potion, she'll fall in love with the first boy she sees! Which will, of course, be me!"

He laughed again to himself and leaned forward as Alexis reached for her drink.

Just as she was gulping it eagerly down, Syrus crept tentatively up to her.

"Hey, Alexis," he whimpered, looking up at the taller Obelisk student, "have you seen aniki **(1)**?"

Alexis, having finished her drink, set the glass down and stared at Syrus. She blinked. Syrus stared back, confused and scared. He blushed and opened his mouth to speak again.

Before he had a chance to utter any sort of sound, Alexis' composure changed. Her eyes grew wide and shiny with adoration. She was practically crying tears of pure joy.

"SYRUS!!" She wailed, "I love you!!!"

Syrus shrank back as Alexis seized him in a crushing hug. "I'm afraid of girls!" **(2) **He cried, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Curses," Chazz muttered, "foiled again!"

Of course, he wasn't exactly 'foiled,' his plan just hadn't worked the way he had hoped. Frowning, he ran back to his room and ordered the antidote, which he proceeded to pour in another drink.

All the screaming and fawning over Syrus had made Alexis very thirsty. Her voice was beginning to crack as she wailed Syrus' name, when Chazz came over.

"Here, Lex, drink this." He offered her the water, frowning.

"Syrus…." She swooned with big, shiny, loving eyes, then took a few sips.

Instantly, her face clouded over. She looked as though she'd just woken up from two hours of sleep and had a migraine.

"Ugh…." She moaned.

Chazz grimaced. After a moment, her appearance returned to normal as she recovered.

"What happened? Oh, well."

Chazz thanked his lucky stars that Alexis had no memory of what had occurred. He would try again. As of then, he decided he'd better keep a low profile.

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**A/N: Well, Chazz, wasn't that a blow? Haven't you learned not to trust potions? Well, hopefully you won't make that mistake again. However, you're so dumb and desperate I wouldn't doubt it! XDDDDDDDD BAKA!!!! XD**

**(1) I had to make Syrus say "Aniki." It's just a little joke my sis and I have, from a video we watched on YouTube. Obviously, you don't mix Japanese and English information, but, hey, that was the point here. **

**(2) When he says he's afraid of girls, obviously that is ooc. Because he sure flipped over Dark Magician Girl and Maiden In Love. This is another joke my sis and I have about him. Perhaps he means he's intimidated by her instant, oppressive affections…especially from a real girl! XD I have nothing against Sy. I just like to poke fun at the characters. : )**


	7. Plan G

**A/N: It appears as though our friend Chazz never learns. Well, I'm the same way. There was this one math problem that kept showing up on every quiz and test I got. It was the exact same problem each time. And every time, I did it wrong even though I'd learned how to do it from each past mistake. To make a long story short, I never got it right. So I can relate with Chazz's stupidity. XD BAKA!!!! XDDDDDDD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. My sis Angel Duelist 153 helped me draw this as a comic in September.**

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Plan G:

Chazz once more sat in front of his computer, searching for the perfect potion. After all, this was the way he'd gotten the closest to winning her over. His own natural abilities had no effect; well, no positive effect anyway. Nevermind that the potions had also produced his greatest downfalls. He would not give up. That was his nendo, his shinobi way.

Chazz smirked to himself as the printer spewed out another potion. "Since she already hates me, this will cancel it out and she'll love me! After all, two negatives multiplied together equal a positive…"

He rushed out the door with his bottle of hate potion and peered around the corner with sneaky eyes. Stealthy as a ninja, he crept towards her drink and poured the potion in. He snickered maniacally to himself as the water turned an eerie shade of red, then cleared up. Seeing her coming back, he leapt behind the corner.

She took a few sips, then blinked. At that moment, he walked nonchalantly around the corner. Their eyes met.

At first, nothing happened, she only stared stupidly at him. Then, a frown furrowed her brow. A second later, the frown turned into a scowl of pure evil. Her eyes bulged slightly, becoming bloodshot. Her mouth curved in an unsightly snarl. She produced an AK-47 and a flamethrower out of nowhere. Suddenly, he wasn't so confident about this plan, especially seeing her smirk in a rather frightening manner.

"Chazz Princeton," she said with eerie calm, "Come here and play with me…."

"Um, I don't think--"

"I said," she snarled, her mouth turning downwards, "Come HERE!!!!"

"I have to be somewhere else…"

"I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She chased him around the room, shooting at him and cackling wickedly. "DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!! HEEEEEEELP!!!!!!" Chazz shrieked as she chased him.

Thankfully, he'd learned from last time's failure and had already ordered the antidote. Shaking fearfully, he popped the top open and flung it at her. Some of the liquid dribbled into her mouth as she screamed. Slumping over, she dropped the gun, then collapsed to the floor.

Worried that she was hurt, he cautiously crept over to her and gently touched her shoulder. "Lex?"

She didn't move.

"OH, NOOOOOO!!!!" He wailed, "I KILLED HER!!! I POISONED HER!!! OH, SOMEONE, ANYONE, HEEEEELP!!!!!!!!"

Alexis' eyes slowly slid open, "Huh? What happened?" She looked up at Chazz, "Chazz?"

Seeing her confused gaze, he breathed a sigh of relief. "You just…conked out. Nothing to be worried about." He laughed nervously.

She sat up and blinked. "Oh. Well, I guess I'll see ya."

He watched her wander off. Before she reached the door, she turned and scowled at him.

"And don't get any more ideas, do you hear me Princeton? Because if you spike my drink one more time, I swear I'll tear your head off."

Chazz's eyes widened as she walked out. Perhaps he wouldn't use the potion idea again. However, he was still not going to give up. Alexis would be his. After all, he knew that she loved him deep down inside, because the hate potion theory had not worked. Confident he could win her over, he strutted down the hall with his nose in the air, contemplating his next move.

* * *

**A/N: You are so dumb, Chazz. XD Didn't I tell you he gets dumber? XDDDDD**


	8. Plan H

**A/N: Chazz's next desperate attempt to win Alexis over. Unfortunately, it does not make much sense, especially since Alexis saw him walk away unharmed in the last chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped me draw this comic.**

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Plan H:

Chazz thought for the rest of the day about his next plan. Although he'd just attempted to get her attention, he figured that if he wore her down, she'd eventually give in. It wasn't enough that he'd already bugged her out of her mind that day. Oh, no, he had to try again.

Suddenly, his eyes flashed with a familiar gleam. He had come up with the perfect plan. Surely, sympathy and remorse would do the trick! He rushed to his room and grabbed some fake blood capsules, hid them in his coat, and rushed back to the school to find Alexis.

Chazz stumbled into the hall, clutching his side and moaning. He squeezed the fake blood capsules from under his jacket and let the liquid ooze down. Finally, with a dramatic sigh of pain, he collapsed to the floor.

Alexis rounded the corner to open her locker. She stopped in mid-turn and stared at the youngest Princeton, who was writhing and crying on the floor.

Seeing that he'd gained her attention, he became all the more loud and dramatic.

"Oh," he moaned, twisting his face in a grimace, "Alexis….it" he paused to cough and wheeze then continued, "…hurts. You shot me…..Oh….the pain…..Oh….."

Alexis frowned down at him suspiciously. "Chazz? What happened to you?"

"OH!!!!" he thrashed about from side to side, "You shot me! Oh, God, dear God, help me now! I shall be leaving this world soon! Oh, the PAIN!"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Chazz…."

"OHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"I guess once a day is not enough for you." She muttered to herself and pulled out her cell phone.

"Alexis…you must…help me. I'm going to….die…." Chazz gasped, putting his best 'I'm in agony' expression on his face.

Alexis ignored him and scowled. "911? Yeah, I have a dying animal on the premise…"

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**A/N: That was short. But funny. XDDDD Chazz is so dumb. I mean, she SAW him walk away in the last one. He must have forgotten that. XDDDDDDD**


	9. Plan I

**A/N: This plan makes no sense whatsoever. There is only one explanation: Chazz's twisted thinking, desperation, and delusions led him to this conclusion.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 came up with this plan.**

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Plan I:

Chazz smirked to himself as he paraded down the hall, laughing at all the poor suckers who adored Alexis. Those wanna-bes! They would be sorely disappointed, for today was the day he finally won her over. Then, they would all go running home crying for their mommies, just as Harrington had. Oh, sweet victory!

He marched with his nose arrogantly stuck in the air, his head high in pride. Then, grinning wickedly, he flung open his locker so hard, the door ricocheted off the wall and hit some random slifer in the face. Chazz paid him no attention as he screamed that the glass from his glasses was in his eyes.

"Finally!" he hissed as dark shadows fell over his features, "I have a master plan that is sure not to fail!"

He gave what he hoped was an evil laugh, but nobody trembled in fear as he'd hoped.

"What's so funny?"

"Man, he's dumb."

"What a joke."

"Oh, it's just that Princeton kid again…."

Chazz whirled around angrily, his trench coat flying back ominously. "You'll all see!" he seethed, hissing, "I will succeed and then all of you will be sorry!"

"Whatever."

Everyone vacated the hall, not wanting to be the butt of whatever 'prank' he was working on.

With an indignant, exaggerated snort, Chazz turned back to his locker, seized a bottle, and laughed wickedly once more.

"Maybe if she hates everyone _but_ me…" he muttered, smirking wider and showing his fangs of evil intentions.

With a little cackle, he rushed back to the lunchroom, having not learned his lesson nor heeded Alexis' warning. Taking great care not to be caught, he poured some leftover 'Hate Potion' in her drink. Leaving it at that, he made himself absent from the premises for the rest of the day.

By dinnertime, he was certain that the 'Hate Potion' had taken full effect and it was safe for him to make his debut. With renewed confidence, he strutted his stuff all the way to the cafeteria. Then, he dramatically burst through the double doors, ready to save the students of Duel Academy and claim his prize.

"I'm here, baby!" He announced loudly, putting on his best Fabio face.

Alexis was currently standing in the midst of many fallen students, laughing maniacally. Everyone--Jaden, Syrus, Jasmine, Mindy, Bastion, and even Ms. Dororthy--was lying in pools of blood with x-marks for eyes. Chazz ignored the scene and stuck his hip out, trying to act like he was walking on the runway. He moved slowly towards her, pouting.

Alexis turned to him and frowned. "Get lost Chazz."

His countenance fell. "Aww, c'mon, Lex, at least give me brownie points for trying."

She turned her back on him, waving him off. He couldn't believe it! She wasn't treating him any differently than usual. His master plan had failed!

At that moment, he realized how dire the situation was.

"Oh…" he muttered, looking in horror at the piles of unconscious students. He looked back over at Alexis, who was polishing her gun.

"What?" She looked peeved as she rubbed the cloth over the barrel, "Do you have something you want to say?"

"N-n-no!" He held up his hands in surrender, then pulled out another bottle and a cell phone. He threw the anti-dote at her head as he spoke into his phone.

"Hello? 911? I've got a bit of an emergency…"

* * *

**A/N: I told you it made no sense! XDDDDDD Chazz is an idiot. And isn't it ironic how all the people in the hall were 'sorry?' Though he didn't exactly succeed…But they still paid, and they WERE the butt of his 'prank.' XDDDDD Another lesson learned: never use leftover Hate Potion.**


	10. Plan J

**A/N: Well, at least it's not a potion. However, he still has a ways to go, as Ryoma would put it. XDDDDDDDDDD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX or Ryoma's famous catch phrase. Angel Duelist 153 gets partial credit for this fic.**

* * *

Plan J:

Chazz sat under a tree, crossing lines off of a page in his notebook. He chewed apprehensively on the eraser, trying to come up with another plan. Sighing, he wished Alexis would at least give him brownie points for trying. After all, no other guy worked this hard for her attention. And the only reason he did was out of love. Oh, the things he did for her! Yet, she would never know.

Finally, he snapped his fingers in inspiration. Quickly, he set to plan his…plan. Which was completely unnecessary, seeing how simple it was. However, he had no room for more failure.

"This _has_ to work!" He hissed, smiling wickedly and rubbing his hands together eagerly.

He peered around, scanning the horizon. Spotting her sitting under a tree at some distance, he began his façade. First, he slumped his shoulders and drooped, making his posture as miserable as possible. Then, he put an expression of absolute sorrow and loss on his face. He trudged heavily over to where she was sitting, then collapsed to his knees before he reached her. She looked up curiously.

He began to sob loudly. "Oh, the agony!" He paused, sobbing some more. "My heart, it doth _break_! Oh, the bittersweet irony of life! Why must my dear family hate me so? Oh! Why must I be so abused and despised! Oh, if I only had the love of a beautiful woman, why, my heart would be healed!"

He crumpled to the ground, his wet face pressed in his hands as he worked up more tears. He made sure he sobbed deeply and heavily, to attract her sympathy.

Alexis scowled and picked up her things, standing up. "Aw, suck it up! At least you don't have to live with Atticus."

She stormed away, obviously turned off by his sudden lack of masculinity. Did she think he was a coward?

Looking dazed and feeling lost, he slowly got to his feet and trudged off, only this time, he meant it.

* * *

**A/N: Aww…poor Chazzy! He's so crushed! Sniff. T.T He will never get it right! XDDDD And that was completely uncalled for, Alexis! (She must've known it was all a show...otherwise, she'd have been worried.) XD**


	11. Plan K

**A/N: I am so tired today. I feel like I'm going to collapse and die. XD School is tough. And I'm cold too. It's really windy here, and that makes me cold. Whoever invented the heater, thank you. : D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped me with this.**

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Plan K:

Chazz sat in his room, contemplating his next move. He had to be more subtle if he was going to win her over. He had to think outside the box. The direct approach was certainly not working. Perhaps he could charm her by some newly acquired character trait of his. Pulling out a pad and a pencil, he began to list all the traits of a virtuous person.

_Kind: _Well, he already was kind to her. He treated her like a lady and acted like a perfect gentleman around her. He opened doors for her, pulled out chairs for her, and carried her books…even when she didn't want him to.

_Caring:_ He already cared about her. All these plans, poems, and flowers proved it. Besides, he always asked how she was doing every morning. He had to make sure she was all right.

_Loving: _He figured he had enough of this one, seeing how he glomped Alexis every morning.

_Honest: _Of course he was honest! He always told the slifers that they were slackers and could never measure up to The Chazz. Not to mention he expressed his true feelings for Alexis, even if it was embarrassing sometimes.

_Compassionate:_ He was plenty sympathetic. In fact, that morning, he'd spared Syrus his daily wedgie/swirly combo because he was still in the hospital recovering from Alexis' recent rampage.

_Fervent:_ He did take everything he did to the extreme.

_Patient: _Well, perhaps he should work on that one. Or not. He was patient with her, and that's all that mattered.

_Polite: _He sure wasn't polite to the slifers, however, he deserved their respect instead since he was better than them. Besides, he had let Alexis take his seat the other day.

_Trustworthy: _Anyone could ask him to do something and he would tell them he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't promise something he couldn't do. Therefore, he figured he was pretty darn trustworthy. After all, he always kept his word. He never did anything he said he wouldn't.

_Accepting:_ Hmmm….he couldn't think of anything he'd done recently to fit this one.

He leaned back on his pillows thinking about his list. Suddenly, it dawned on him. Yes, not being accepting; that was what was holding him back! Here, he had all these wonderful characteristics about himself and she always looked the other way. It was because he wasn't accepting in her eyes. But he could easily change that. He now had the perfect plan to win her heart.

Grabbing some left over Love Potion, he headed over to Jaden's room. Seeing he wasn't there, he figured Jaden was in the school, though he couldn't imagine why.

He found Jaden standing by his locker, talking to Bastion. Ignoring the Ra student's sad, affectionate gaze, he seized Jaden by the jacket and dragged him around the corner.

"You look thirsty, Jaden." Chazz commented as he spiked a soda with the Love Potion behind his back. "Drink this, slacker."

"Ok." Jaden said, smiling cluelessly. He took the soda and drank it all in one gulp. "Thanks, Chazz."

Chazz smirked to himself as he rounded the corner. "Oh, Alexis, Jaden wants to talk to you!"

Alexis shrugged and stepped around the corner, though she looked at Chazz suspiciously. She knew he was up to no good.

"This is perfect!" Chazz thought, rubbing his hands together in delight, "I can show how accepting I am, and Alexis will tire of Jaden. After all, girls like guys that are aloof, as I will be now. I'll have her chasing after me in no time!"

At that moment, he rounded the corner as well, to watch the fun.

The potion was just kicking in. Jaden's eyes grew huge and sparkly, making him look like a chibi. He clasped his hands together and peered adoringly at Alexis.

"Alexis…marry me…I NEED you…" he whispered passionately, pestering her.

"Time to put my plan into action," Chazz thought, snickering. He put a noble expression on his face and tried to sound as nonchalant and indifferent as he was able. "Alexis, if you don't like me, that's Ok."

Alexis stared at the two boys as though they'd lost their minds. Then, she shrugged. "Whatever."

Chazz gasped in horror as he watched Alexis walk away and as his plan fell to pieces. He facefaulted.

* * *

**A/N: How stupid of him. Doesn't he know the danger of doing that? She could've run off with Jaden, not him! XDDDDDD Thankfully, she didn't care to. **


	12. Plan L

**A/N: Chazz is getting desperate. He's gotten to the point that he's resorted to affecting mankind as a whole. XDDDDDD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 gets half credit for this idea.**

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Plan L:

Chazz scrolled down on his computer, his eyes scanning the webpage. He was on a website that catered specifically to the needs of villains and future dictators. He smirked as he tried to find the perfect device.

"Ah-HA!" He read aloud, "Human dissipation ray…hmmm….it eliminates any amount of humans you need and sends them to the fifteenth dimension. You can choose who you send and who you leave. Comes with reverse switch. Excellent!"

Laughing wickedly, he clicked and placed his order, after being assured his information would not reach authorities. It was good to be rich, and it was good to be The Chazz.

Immediately, there was a knock on his door. He opened it and looked both ways. No one was there. Shrugging, he stepped outside for a closer look, and almost got killed by a box that was falling from an airplane.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" He screamed as he leapt out of the way.

The box hit the deck and bounced a few times, then crashed, landing on its side, and leaving a small hole in the boards. Quickly, he went and retrieved his prize, then took it in his room.

"She has many fans and many boys who adore her," Chazz muttered to himself, setting his machine up, "and if I'm the last person on earth other than her…"

He paused and punched the buttons, typed his name and her name in the list to be saved, and flipped the switch up. Then, he laughed horribly.

"…she'll _need_ to be adored!"

Immediately, everyone on earth disappeared. The aliens from outer space watched in confusion as the planet they were about to invade suddenly became devoid of people. The earth had already been wiped clean of intelligent life; there was no need to destroy it now. Defeated, they set their course for a different galaxy.

Chazz laughed and laughed. Then, he left to go find Alexis.

Oddly enough, she was on her way to talk to him about the homework. She tapped on his open door.

"Chazz? Hello? Anyone home?" Confused, she peered inside, and saw the human dissipation ray. "What's this?"

She foolishly reached out and flipped the switch. Immediately, everyone on earth appeared again, right to where they had been before they disappeared. The journey from the fifteenth dimension to earth had wiped their memories clean, so no one knew what had happened and continued about their lives. Chazz, however, thought it hadn't worked and returned it. Alas, he had failed miserably once again.

* * *

**A/N: That was crazy, huh? And short. But there wasn't much to say about this one and I'm tired. That's a lame excuse. XDDDDDDDD**


	13. Plan M

**A/N: I don't know if this will be correct Spanish. My teacher told me that Te Amo means I lust you...but I can't be sure. So it's not my fault if it's wrong.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX or Spanish. Angel Duelist 153 helped write this, however, sadly, she cannot speak Spanish, so don't PM her and be all like "Hola¿Cómo estás? Yo estoy bien y..." Yadda yadda yadda**

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Plan M:

Chazz approached Alexis in the classroom later, ready to serenade her. She stared up at him, wondering why he was wearing a sombrero with little red pom-poms on it. And why was he wearing a ruffled white top, a black vest with matching black vests? Why was he dressed so idiotically? She soon found out as he began to strum a guitar and sing in Spanish, or at least, attempt to sing in Spanish.

"Hola, señorita. La amor es mejor que...um...Jaden...Uh, nevermind. Anyway... ¡Tus ojos son los más bellas del mundo¡Me gusta tu cara! Te amo, te amo, te amo...¡Me encanta la amor!"

Alexis stared at him, then seized her Spanish dictionary out of her bag. She scanned it and scowled.

"Love is better than Jaden? Your eyes are the most beautiful in the world...I like your face? I LUST YOU, I LUST YOU, I LUST YOU?! I love love? What the hell?" She turned and scowled at Chazz. "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! Stupid Chazz!"

He waved his arms wildly, in a desperate attempt to impress her. His eyes grew wide and he whimpered, "Wait!...um¡Te amo¡Te amo¡Me te gusta! Um, tú eres bellísima!"

Alexis glared at him. "I love you body? I like you and you're very, very, very pretty? That's not even the right grammar!"

Disgusted, she turned around and flounced off.

He flapped his arms harder, trying to get her attention. "WAIT!!!!!! Lo siento...¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡LO SIENTOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

**A/N: XDDDDD I just butchered the Spanish language. I'm sorry (lo siento). XD Yeah, but it was wrong, the grammar I mean, on purpose, b/c he doesn't know Spanish. XD BAKA!!!!!! Another plan fails miserable. If you have any questions, feel free to ask in your review or PM me. I'll be glad to answer them. **


	14. Plan N

**A/N: Ok, so last chappie was short b/c I was really tired and I felt like crap. I'll try to make up for it today. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX or Naruto. Partial credit to Angel Duelist 153.**

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Plan N:

Chazz sat on his bed, thinking again. His last plan had bombed big time. He really did not want that to happen again. He had to find some way to win Alexis' heart, and soon. Otherwise, he was sure his heart would be permanantly broken.

Sighing, he hoisted his lean body off the bed and dragged himself outside to take a walk. As he passed by the girls' dorm, head hanging, he overheard Jasmine and Mindy talking.

"Hey, Jas," Mindy said, giggling, "Did Alexis tell you?"

"What?"

"She watches Naruto."

"I knew that."  
"Well, it gets better."

"What?" Jasmine looked bored.

"Ok, she told me not to tell anyone, but I can't help it. It's just too good. Did you know that she has a crush on _Naruto_?"

"You mean…"

Mindy exploded into giggles. "Yes!"

Jasmine snickered as well. "The number one knuckle-headed ninja? You've got to be kidding."

"Nope. It's true!"

The two girls walked back towards the dorm, giggling and talking about sending her pictures of Naruto via e-mail. Chazz gawked.

Whereas moments earlier, he had no clue what he was going to do, now inspiration had struck him. Smirking, he rushed back to his room and got online.

Several costume stops and several thirty second taijutsu classes later, Chazz snuck out to where Alexis was sitting. He leapt into the bushes and waited a moment before he made his grand entrance. Then, with a big smile on his face, he leapt out, flying high into the air. He felt like a bird. That is, until gravity took its effect and brought him crashing into the ground. Unfazed, he jumped back to his feet and smiled brightly.

Alexis gawked. He was dressed in an orange jacket and pants, blue sandals, and a Leaf Village headband. He'd used a black Sharpie to draw fake whiskers on his cheeks. In his right hand, he wielded a kunai knife.

Remembering his lessons, he quickly tried to bust out a combo to impress her. Her eyes widened in horror as he gave a few pathetic kicks to a tree, then attempted Lee's "Lion Barrage." He ended up flopping on the ground, reminiscent of a fish out of water or a bad street performer attempting the Worm.

"Alexis…" he panted, flashing a few random hand signs, including the one for the Shadow Clone jutsu, "What do ya think of my nendo?"

She scowled at him. "What nendo?"

"I never give up," He recited solemnly, sad music playing, "that is my nendo, my ninja way!"

She rolled her eyes as he continued with a few random hand signs.

"So what do ya think of my combo?"

She glowered at him in response.

"Hey, I thought you liked Naruto?"

"I do like Naruto," she said simply as she gathered he things and turned her back on him, "but I hate cosplay."

With that, she left him standing alone under the tree. He hung his head and figured he and Naruto had more in common than she would ever know. Question was, would she ever see that?

* * *

**A/N: Awww…..Poor Chazzy! He's so dumb, and he wants her to be his so desperately…it's kind of sweet…and kind of creepy! Anyway, if you feel sorry for him and want Alexis to be with him in the end, tell me in your review. **


	15. Plan O

**A/N: Sorry I haven't gotten around to updating for a couple of days. Thanksgiving came and, ya know how that goes. So, here I am, and here's another one of Chazz's hopeless plans. XD**

Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Nor do I own Captain Jack Sparrow's script. Angel Duelist 153 also came up w/ this idea.

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Plan O:

Chazz stood in the school's store, looking through the magazine rack. Certainly, if he could find a magazine for teenage girls, he could get into Alexis' head, and know what she wanted. Unfortunately, he wasn't too good at interpreting things.

An issue of "Seventeen" caught his eye. He picked it up and flipped through it until he came to an article about how to know whether your guy was your soul mate or not. He read the headline aloud.

"'See if your man is Cupid sent, or of monkey decent.' Hmm…Cupid…the god of love…maybe that's my answer!"

Quickly, he set the magazine back on the rack, avoiding the strange looks other students were giving him.

"I told you he was gay." One student said to another.

"And I thought you were kidding about the Bastion incident." The other student muttered.

Chazz rushed back to his room and got on the computer. Immediately, he ordered another costume. He smiled to himself, that is, until the package came flying through the window and hit him on the side of the head.

"OWIE!" He wailed, rubbing his head. Then, smirking, he picked it up, "It's here!"

Grinning devilishly from ear to ear, he began the transformation. Alexis would have no idea what had hit her. But he would.

"Let this day be known forevermore as the day the The Chazz Princeton won the heart and love of the most beautiful and popular Alexis Rhodes!" He said dramatically, reminiscent of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Meanwhile, Alexis was simply minding her own business, reading a book in the classroom before class started. Suddenly, the lights dimmed.

"Oh, hell, Atticus is making his entrance again." She moaned to herself.

A soft glow was emitted from the ceiling, as little flecks of sparkles and glitter drifted gently down. Slowly, Chazz floated down from the ceiling, suspended by several strings. Alexis gasped in horror, seeing him wearing a most humiliating set of angel wings. In one hand, he carried a harp. In the other, he offered her a dozen red roses tied with a ribbon and a heart-shaped box of chocolates. She averted her eyes, seeing that he wasn't wearing a shirt. Thankfully, he was still wearing his pants.

"Alexis, Alexis," He began, strumming the harp, deciding to recite another poem. Thankfully, it was not the Ojama one.

"My love and my queen," he continued,

"I'd do anything for you,

"but nothing obscene.

"Alexis, Alexis,

"my darling, my love,

"Please let me be,

"your little white dove.

"Alexis, Alexis--"

"I think I'm going to be sick." Alexis moaned, covering her face with her hands.

At that moment, the strings snapped under his weight. He screamed as his face was swiftly introduced to the floor. She rolled her eyes and stepped over his body.

He lifted his head and called after her. "WAIT! ALEXIS! I LOVE YOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!"

She just kept walking.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Chazz. His attempts just get more and more desperate. He may be smart grade wise, but he sure is dumb with common sense! XD Stay tuned to watch his next plan bomb, and I promise you, it will be one helluva crash and burn.**


	16. Plan P

**A/N: This plan is so deceitfully simple, yet, perhaps it is the stupidest of them. Considering his previous failures and her reactions, I mean.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped me come up with this story.**

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Plan P:

Chazz paced back and forth in front of the girls' dorm, fretting. It didn't matter to him that he could get in major trouble for being on the girls' campus. All that mattered was that he won Alexis over and eased his anxiety.

Sighing heavily, he thought about what hell it was to be so lovesick over a girl who'd yet to return his affections. But she would, once she saw how affectionate and passionate he was. After all, didn't girls just love romance and attention? Of course! And who didn't love having someone make everything better on a bad day by giving you a big hug? He sure knew he would. Ok, so Jaden had hugged him and he'd hated it. But that was different. He wasn't gay. And Jaden just loved people too much. He defied every known law of mankind, anyway.

Chazz stared apprehensively up at Alexis' window, then sighed again and sat down. When would she ever come out? Did it really take girls that long to get ready? Or was that an excuse so they could sleep longer? Puzzled, he decided that if she didn't come out in the next five minutes, he'd go see if she was awake.

Indeed, five minutes passed with no Alexis. Being the impatient, impulsive person he was, he slipped in the side door and crept up the steps to the third floor. Then, he made his way down the hall, taking care to be really quiet so no one would catch him. He stopped at her door, swallowed hard, and raised his fist to knock, hoping with all his heart that she wouldn't turn him in to Ms. Fountaine.

He tapped lightly three times, then waited. From inside, he heard muffled footsteps, then the door opened. Alexis looked at him neutrally for once. Seeing she was dressed, he wondered why she'd holed up in her room. It never crossed his mind that perhaps she was hiding from him.

"What do you want, Chazz?"

"Um…" He stared at her, freezing up. "Uhhhh…."

"Well?" She leaned in the doorway, frowning a bit.

"She's so beautiful!" He thought, losing every bit of his one milligram of common sense.

"What do you want?" She looked more irritated at this point.

Finally, he gave up on trying to speak. Before she could do anything, he reached out, throwing his arms tightly around her, one snaking around her waist while the other encircled her neck. Leaning down, he tilted his head and pressed his lips firmly to hers, causing her to blush just as badly as he was. He leaned her back in his arms, and pulled her into a deeper kiss, holding her tight up against him, his fingers now in her golden hair.

At first, she did nothing. She only laid back, stiff in his arms. Her eyes widened as he kissed her gentler, putting all the passion he could muster into it. She would've thought that he'd be a bad kisser, but, as much as she hated to admit it, he was actually good at it. That did not mean she liked him, though.

Finally, regaining her senses, she shoved him away, and wiped her mouth. Without a word, she leapt on him. He was rather excited by this, thinking that perhaps she wanted another kiss. However, she had something very different in mind. She gave him quite a surprise.

_POW!!! BAM!!! SMACK!!! BANG!!!_

She stormed away, giving an indignant snort. He stood there, stunned. What had just happened?

At that moment, Mindy stepped out of her room, then stared at him. "Ew," she muttered, "You look awful."

Turning to a mirror, he saw that his hair was in quite a bit of disarray. He had one black eye, a nosebleed, and red marks all over his face. Sore and defeated, he crawled out of the girls' dorm. Perhaps he would try again later. But for now, he just had to go back to his room and get some ice for his bruises.

* * *

**A/N: That really was stupid of him, wasn't it? Well, that one wasn't as funny I guess. But his next attempt is just as pathetic, especially since it's the technique he should've used as Plan A. BAKA!!! XDDD**


	17. Plan Q

**A/N: The poor, poor Baka…this should've been his first plan to begin with. However, he finally figures things out a little late…and perhaps he will never catch up from here. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped me draw the comic for this.**

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Plan Q:

Chazz sat crossed-legged in his room, pondering his situation. Perhaps he should stop beating around the bush. After all, his plans up to this point--save for the kiss--had been far too vague. It was time, he decided, to do what he knew he should've done all along.

He'd always heard that women loved to be in control of things, especially their love lives. Whereas all this time, he'd been going about it the entirely wrong way by trying to force himself on her, he decided to try to be sweet for once and relinquish some of his control in order to please her. After all, what woman could resist the promise of power and control? None, he decided. Therefore, he would give her charge and leave the decision up to her. Perhaps by using this reverse psychology, she'd end up pining for him, and he'd gain a girlfriend.

He smirked. Now that he was thinking logically, he was sure his plan would work. He'd taken a situation, analyzed it to its full degree, and thrown in some of his acquired knowledge from along the way. By now, he knew her quite well. Actually, he had known her since Duel Prep school. Therefore, he concluded that he was fully prepared for the task that lay before him.

Sticking his nose in the air with great confidence, he marched arrogantly down to her room, and once more, knocked on the door with all the dignity he could. After a moment, she opened it, then frowned, seeing him.

"Oh, it's you." She rolled her eyes.

"You sound like you don't want to see me." He pointed out.

She scowled. "I don't."

He practically leapt for joy at this point. They were having an actual conversation! Had this ever happened before? He wasn't sure.

Then his ecstasy waned as her words sunk in. She didn't want to see him? Why would she ever NOT want to see him? He was her soul mate! Regaining his composure, he opened his mouth, ready to recite the greatest monologue he'd yet to know.

"Alexis…"

"What?"

He blushed and smiled cutely at her, his silky, raven spikes flopping in his onyx eyes. "Will you go out with me?"

She stared at him for a moment, wondering if he were serious. For one second, just one second, she felt her heart melt seeing how adorable he looked. Then, she swiftly remembered who she was talking to. A deep frowned creased her pretty features.

"No." She said simply, then proceeded to slam the door in his face.

He stood outside the door, stunned. What had happened to his glorious monologue, the one that would win him the heart of his princess? Alas, that had failed him too! With a heavy heart, he left the girls' dorm, having lost the battle. Then, smirking once more, he squared his shoulders. Yes, he had lost the battle, but he'd yet to lose the war. He would win her over if it were the last thing he did. Even if he had to memorize another mind-wrenching monologue to do so.

* * *

**A/N: That was short. Oh, well. He's just as stupid as ever, making it seem greater than it is. Note his ridiculous use of hyperbole and how he transformed the event into a mock epic! XD BAKA!!!!!**


	18. Plan R

**A/N: I am so tired. School has been really oppressive lately. Not as bad as it has been, but still plenty annoying. Not to mention exhausting. Well, anyway, on to another dysfunctional plan, courtesy of yours truly and Chazz. And Angel Duelist 153. XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. I already gave my sis credit.**

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* * *

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Plan R:

Chazz skulked down the hall, sneaking and slinking in the shadows. He snickered, then laughed wickedly as he darted from corner to corner, holding a stack of papers close to his heart. This plan had to work!

He began slapping the posters on every wall of Duel Academy. Oh, this was rich. Like him, only he was richer. But that wasn't the point.

"As soon as Alexis sees these posters," He snickered, his now beady eyes shifting from one side of the hall to the other, "she won't be able to help but admire me somewhat. Especially afterwards."

He smiled in satisfaction at his work, then, seeing Alexis approaching, hurried around the corner. She walked right past the poster, paying it no attention. She didn't even seem to have seen it. His jaw dropped. Why, he had spent hours using a graphic design program to come up with that! He wasn't just going to sit around and let his hard work go to waste. Oh, no, he would come up with another method of getting her to see them.

At lunchtime, he stuck one of the posters on a register. Then, he sat back to watch. When she didn't come in, he frowned. Where was she? She had to eat sometime.

"Atticus!" He yelled.

"What?" Atticus smiled at him.

"Have you seen Alexis?"

"She's in the library with Zane."

Chazz fell over. "With ZANE?!!!!" He shrieked.

"Yep. They won't be coming to lunch. They're studying."

"Dammit!"

"Hey!" Atticus said, pulling the poster off the register.

"Don't…!"

"Party at The Chazz's house! All invited…and Alexis." He read. "Cool! I can invite everyone I know!"

Chazz groaned but didn't say otherwise. He'd have to sacrifice a little to get her to notice him.

Later, in gym class, he snuck into the girls' locker room. He taped the poster to what he thought was her locker. Instead, it turned out to be Mindy's.

"Party?" She said, her eyes brightening. "I love parties! I hope Jas can come!"

Chazz groaned again and watched with dismay as Alexis passed by him in her tight white T-shirt and blue short-shorts. He drooled. She ignored him and Harrington, who was trying to impress her by showing off his amazing tennis skizzles **(1)**. He swung at the air too hard. His face was soon introduced to the tennis racket, leaving quite an impression. She laughed at him, but kept ignoring Chazz.

In Dr. Crowler's fourth period class, Chazz taped another poster to her desk. He hoped with all his might that she'd see it. Unfortunately, Bastion got to it before she did.

"A party?" He bellowed, "Jolly good! Chazz, how'd you know I loved parties? Well, I'll see you there. Tally ho for now!"

Chazz shook his head violently, his face red. More than anything, he did not want Bastion to come. Especially after that little fiasco in Plan A.

Finally, at the end of their classes, Chazz became fed up. He snatched a poster and ran to catch up with Alexis.

"Alexis!" He panted, "Alexis!" He stared at her with eager, puppy-dog eyes.

She turned and stared at him, annoyed. "What?"

Just as he was about to catch up, he tripped over his feet and fell, face first, into the floor. Alexis stifled a giggle.

Chazz got to his feet, face burning. Then, he quickly recovered. "Here," he said, smiling and blushing as he held a poster out to her, lovesick.

"Um…" She took the poster and raised an eyebrow. Then, frowning, she turned to a trashcan and tossed it in.

Without another word, she walked out, leaving him standing in the middle of the hall. He dropped the rest of the posters, letting them scatter across the floor.

"Hey, Alexis, wanna got to Chazz's party with me?" Harrington yelled, running down the hall.

Just as he reached Chazz, he slipped on a poster and went flying down the hall. He screamed as he crashed into the trashcan head first. Alexis rolled her eyes and kept walking.

* * *

**A/N: That was kinda random. Oh well. Hope you liked! And Chazz is still as stupid as ever. Though I feel more and more sorry for him each time. **

**(1) Snoop Dogg talk. XD It means "skills." I use this word all the time, b/c it sounds cool, I like making fun of Snoop Dogg (no offense to anyone), and it makes me think of Skittles. Mmmmm XD**


	19. Plan S

**A/N: I finally got around to writing another chappie. Thanks for the wait and being so patient. XD I'm hardly patient, how can I expect you to be? Ah, well, it really doesn't matter. On to the chappie!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped me with this.**

* * *

Plan S:

Chazz sat at his computer tying. Glancing with tired eyes over at the clock, he yawned. It was two-thirty in the morning, and he was having trouble staying awake. However, losing sleep was a small price to pay for what would soon be his.

Regaining that familiar gleam in his eye as he smirked in satisfaction, he printed out several copies of his document. Sure, he'd have to wait until morning to see the Chancellor, but he might as well have it all ready so the Chancellor would have no hesitation in granting his request. Smiling a bit from exhaustion, he collapsed on his bed and fell asleep.

The alarm clock rudely awoke him the following morning. He groaned, unaccustomed to the hour at which he was arising. However, he had to make sure he had plenty of time before classes to talk to Chancellor Shepherd and set things up. At this point, he was confident in his argument.

Skipping breakfast, he raced down to the Chancellor's office. The secretary groaned when she saw him. He often came in to try to talk the Chancellor into ridiculous ideas. And he usually agreed, being as ridiculous and stupid as Chazz was.

"Good morning, Mr. Princeton." The Chancellor greeted with a dumb smile, "How are you today?"

"I'm fine." He answered, although he was far from it. Swaying a bit from sleepiness, he held up a poster. "I thought you might want to consider this. It'll be fun."

The Chancellor took it. "Hmmmmmmm….." He pondered for a moment, then read aloud, "'First ever Duel Academy Prom'? Why, Chazz, that's a SUPERB idea!!! I'll get right on it!"  
"Oh, don't bother, I'll set everything up."

He paused a moment, then smiled stupidly again. "As I said before, I'll be right on it!"

Chazz groaned. The Chancellor would never understand, so he finally relented. "Thanks."

"No problem. See you around!" The Chancellor waved good bye as Chazz stepped out. The secretary rolled her eyes.

Chazz shuddered as he shut the door. Somehow, Chancellor Shepherd reminded him of Jaden. Now, it wasn't that he hated Jaden. He just got annoyed with him. But Chancellor Shepherd was a different story. There was something really weird about him; something he couldn't quite put his finger on…

Shaking this thought from his mind, he began to put the posters up. Soon, he had the halls covered with the advertisement. Just as he'd hoped, Alexis came along shortly, and stared at them. She picked one up.

"Cool!" She exclaimed, her eyes shining, "I'll go with Aster!"

Having not heard this last part for his excitement, he leapt out and leaned casually against the lockers. Doing his best to look suave and sexy, he asked her, "Hey, Alexis, whaddya say about goin' to prom with me?"

She stared at him as though he were crazy. Then, she turned and walked away, leaving one last comment hanging in the air. "Mindy will go with you."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Chazz fell over.

* * *

**A/N: XD A little late, there, Chazz! Just five seconds earlier….He'll never get it right. **


	20. Plan T

**A/N: Sorry it took me longer than usual to update. I had to help my friends with their fics and I had to update White Veil, which I'd been putting off for almost a month. Well, I'll try to do better, so long as damn school stays out of my way. I have to look into college this week, and exams will be shortly. So I might not be able to update because my teachers have been giving me a hard time, and lots of homework.**

**Warning: Extreme hotness and display of Chazz's oozing sexuality. XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX or Justin Timberlake.**

* * *

Plan T:

Chazz walked down the hall to his locker, in a foul mood. He was nearing the bottom of the barrel for ideas, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out. It seemed as though Alexis would never accept him. He was losing hope.

"I'm running out of ideas," He muttered, slamming his locker door shut, "This better work."

He pulled a stereo and a CD out of his locker. "Time to get my sexy on."

He slipped around the corner to find Alexis calmly reading a book. He thought it strange that she read so much. Maybe she wasn't really reading. Maybe she was just pretending to be busy so he wouldn't bother her. Nevertheless, it didn't matter. He would bother her if he wanted.

He pressed the play button on the stereo. Immediately, Justin Timberlake started to spill from the speakers.

_"I'm bringing sexy back (yeah)_

_Them other boys don't know how to act (yeah)_

_I think it's special what's behind your back (yeah)"_

"Hey Alexis," He greeted, smirking his sexiest as he tossed his black trench coat off.

"Hi, Chazz." She looked at him warily.

_"Dirty babe (uh-huh)_

_You see these shackles, baby, I'm you're slave (uh-huh)"_

He looked all the prouder as he whipped his shirt off and swung it around before discarding that as well. In his mind, he pictured himself as being muscular and extremely attractive, as though he were a lifeguard on _Baywatch._

Alexis grimaced, seeing how thin he was. "Is he anorexic?" She wondered. At the same time, though, she was trying not to think he was hot.

_"I'll let you whip me if I misbehave (uh-huh)_

_It's just that no one makes me feel this way (uh-huh)_

_TAKE IT TO THE BRIDGE!!!!"_

Alexis blushed as he swayed his hips and started to unbuckle his belt. Secretly, she hoped he'd take it all off. Shaking her head of the thought, her face to redder and she glared at him.

"OH, I'LL WHIP YOU ALL RIGHT, YOU FILTHY STRIPPER!!!!"

The next thing Chazz knew, Alexis was knocking him to the floor, beating him to a pulp.

_Wha-POW!!!!_

"Don't do that in front of a lady!!!" She shrieked as she stomped off, flustered and heated.

"She liked it…" Chazz purred.

He figured that if he kept picking at it, it'd only be a matter of time before she cracked. And he knew just what buttons to press now.

* * *

**A/N: XD Chazz is figuring it out…somewhat. Male stipper! SQUEE!!! YES! YES! STRIPTEASE!!!! XD Ah…good times. Well, it seems that she is warming up to him. But will she accept him in the end? O.o Who knows? He can always screw things up for himself again…and I assure you, he will.**


	21. Plan U

**A/N: I have TOO MUCH HOMEWORK!!!! Because our district didn't make Bush's retarded "No Child Left Behind" requirements, our teachers are cracking down on us with LOADS AND LOADS of homework. But my school DID meet the criteria, being the toughest school in the district. But since the rest didn't make it, we have to work our asses off too. Not to mention that our regular classes have become AP and our AP was already graduate school level (the teacher said so) so I have no clue what it is now. AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH!!!!! T.T This sucks.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped me with this. **

* * *

Plan U:

Chazz cackled wickedly to himself as he went to the front office. He knew he was, in a way, recycling an old idea; however, he needed to do something to catch his favorite blonde's eye. And what better way than to melt her heart? He had, what he considered, to be the best plan ever.

Stepping into the office, he stuck his nose in the air and proudly marched up to the secretary's desk. "Did my mother leave something for me here? I do believe she did, and if so, I shall be picking it up."

The secretary rolled her eyes. "Yes. Now here, take it and go." She gestured towards the corner.

Chazz smirked. "Excellent," he hissed.

Quickly taking hold of his prize, he skulked out into the hall, keeping to the shadows. Then, spotting Alexis, he rushed over, beaming and smiling brightly.

"Good morning!" He chirped.

"Um, hi…" She looked uncertainly at him, then gasped, staring at what he was pushing: a baby stroller complete with the baby.

"How are you?" He asked, trying to start a conversation.

"Um…" She stared at the child, horrified.

Bewildered, he tried to explain to her. "I love kids…"

A strange look twisted her delicate features, then tears brimmed in her eyes. "Poor baby!" She gushed, "Having _Chazz_ for a father and Jasmine for a mother!"

Chazz stared at her. "Come again?"

"Remember, you said you liked Jasmine! So something must've been going on between you two that I didn't know about!" She stared at the baby sympathetically. "How could you do this to the poor child!"

"WHAT?!!!" He gasped, looking mortified and insulted, "No, no, no, you've got it ALL wrong. This is my cousin, NOT my son. I'm only babysitting. Yeesh, Jasmine and I never even went out. We did nothing. I dropped that plan."

She raised an eyebrow, trying to comprehend what he'd just said. "A plan?"

He mentally smacked himself for giving it away. "I meant…I mean…"

"Whatever." Now displaying extreme disinterest, she turned on her heel and walked away, seemingly indifferent towards him.

He gawked after her, mouth agape. "Alexis, wait!"  
At that moment, the baby started crying. Looking down, he saw that the child's diaper was sagging. Horrified, he could only stand there and stare. It wasn't like he knew what to do anyway.

As the child began to scream, its cries echoing through the hallway, Chazz knew he was in too deep. "Alexis, wait, please come back! I don't know what to do! ALEEEXIIIIIIIISSS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She did not come back. He could only stand helplessly in the hall as the baby screamed louder.

* * *

**A/N: That, frankly, was not as funny as the others. Oh well. Chazz sure crashed on that one. XD He's such a fool. He knows nothing about how to win a woman's heart. Not like anyone knows how to win Alexis'. XD**


	22. Plan V

**A/N: Well, it won't be long now before the moment of truth. And I must say, in this chapter, he achieves a new low. Not to mention that his thinking is completely irrational. There is no sense in this. There is no need for him to behave so stupidly. However, Chazz is just being Chazz and I must relate the story as the events occurred. So, without further adieu, I present to you another one of his dysfunctional schemes.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped me come up with this idea, so it might seem like one of her other stories because this plan was completely hers.**

* * *

Plan V:

Alexis was calmly sitting out in the hallway, enjoying her lunch in quiet solitude. Everything was peaceful. Everyone else was in the cafeteria, the birds were softly singing outside, and the teachers had all left for the lunchroom. She sighed contentedly, thinking about how nice it was to escape Atticus, Jaden, Syrus, and, especially, Chazz. Speaking of everyone's favorite raven haired idiot, where was he? She felt uneasy thinking this. She had to know where he was at all times so she could elude him. Perhaps there was more reason for her to be worried than she realized.

Just as she was beginning to find the silence to be more than a bit eerie, she heard a faint tapping in the background. Immediately, she put her guard up. It became louder and louder. Her eyes widened.

_BAM_

The light reflected off a shiny, circular metal object. Looking closer, she recognized it as a golden medallion hanging from a long chain.

_BAM_

Her attention shifted to a white visor turned sideways around spiky black hair.

_BAM_

Hearing the thumping again, she noticed a boom box, which was producing loud, annoying rap music.

_BAM_

The youngest Princeton slammed his fists together. As the light caught another shiny, golden object, she gasped.

"The Chazz?" She read the rings on his knuckles.

That was when she looked at the entire picture. He was wearing a baggy white sweat suit and Air Force Ones. He grinned at her, flashing a grill.

"Yo sexy…Get over here and give Sugar Daddy some lovin'!"

She gasped and face faulted. "Ew…." She gagged.

He scratched his head. Wasn't she supposed to like gangstas? After all, Atticus had always said that she did. Maybe he meant it figuratively? Or maybe it was an act!

He opened his mouth to say something else, but it was too late. She had already picked up her lunch and was headed in the opposite direction. As she walked away, Zane came up, looked Chazz up and down, and shook his head.

"I already tried that Chazz. It doesn't work." With that being said, he, too, walked away.

Chazz stood there for a minute, then shouted. "WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS BEFORE?!!!!!!!!!"

No one answered him.

* * *

**A/N: XDDDD Stupid fool. If you didn't get the Zane thing before, then it was an allusion to Angel Duelist 153's fic "Yo Momma." It's funny. Read it. Anyway, I didn't come up with this one, she did, so I'm not copying her, she's copying herself. Just kidding, Angel. XDDD But she said I could write this entire series. So, well, here we are. Hope you enjoyed!**


	23. Plan W

**A/N: I haven't updated in awhile. I'm sorry. I had exams. And I have them again in a few weeks. T.T At least it's winter break. I'm afraid I'm not very funny right now. I'm depressed. I'm sorry I suck. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. If I did, it'd still be on TV and I wouldn't be so miserable. Also, Angel Duelist 153 helped me with this.**

* * *

Plan W:

Chazz smiled to himself as he climbed into his custom-made sports car. It had taken him quite a bit of time, but he finally knew the way to Alexis' heart. After all, everyone always said she was materialistic. And he could give her what she wanted. He was rich. All he had to do now was use his resources.

He drove to the mall, laughing to himself. How she would thank him! How she would love him! Quickly, he parked and trotted inside.

A few stores and one hundred million dollars later, he was finally finished. He sped back to Duel Academy and rushed to her room.

"Alexis," He called, "I have something special for you!"

Alexis opened the door, looking less than thrilled. "What do you want?"

"Look at all the gifts I got you!" He told her, beaming, then hinted less than subtly, "You know, if you got with me, you could have everything your little heart desired, even the MOON! You know, 'cause I'm rich…"

She stared him up and down. "You've got to be kidding."

"Nope! Look!"

He began to open the boxes. She stared as he produced a diamond necklace with matching earrings. Next, he showed her a sundry of jewelry consisting of emeralds, sapphires, pearls, rubies, silver, gold, and platinum. Her eyes widened as he showed her exquisite furs from Canada, leather goods from Italy, and the latest fashions from Paris.

"So, Alexis, do you like?" He asked, as he pulled out an I-pod, a plasma screen television, and an I-phone.

She stood still, her mouth agape.

"How about now?" He pulled a key out of his pocket and pressed a button. She stared in the direction of the beeping to see a red Ferrari.

"Um, Chazz," She began uncomfortably, "This is very nice and all, but don't you think it's overkill?"

He blinked. "Nothing is too good for you, my love."

She inwardly groaned. "Maybe if you didn't try so hard…" She trailed off and blushed. "Nevermind."

"Wait," He said as she started to close the door, "Aren't you gonna at least accept my gifts of love?"

She placed her hand on her forehead like she was getting a migraine. "Chazz, I can't accept these. I don't want them anyway. Take them back."

"But--"

"Not interested." She told him, crossing her arms. That was when she shut the door.

"Aw, man." He muttered, turning around and walking down the hall. "I guess I'll just take them back." He paused for a minute before his eyes regained that mischievous gleam and he smirked. "But I will get her yet…I can tell she's cracking!"

Running down the hall, he stopped to do a victory dance in the mirror. Alexis, who was peering out the door, made a face. However, she laughed as well.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry that wasn't as funny. I tried. Oh well. Maybe I'll get my knack back next time. **


	24. Plan X

**A/N: It won't be long now! Soon, the conclusion will be revealed. Will Alexis kill him, or will she cave? Is it all just a mad delusion of his? And will Atticus ever learn not to mess with the Chazz? Answer: who knows? Though, Atticus probably will NEVER learn.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped me with this.**

* * *

Plan X:

Chazz sat at his desk, thinking intently. He stared down at his notebook, which was filled with plans with x-marks next to them. There was nothing he'd done so far that had succeeded. He began to wonder if it was all hopeless.

"Think, Chazz, think!" He muttered to himself, slamming his head on his desk and clutching his head, "There must be something you've missed. What could she possibly like? What could possibly turn her on?"

He scratched his head in confusion. Well, he had seen her flirting with Jaden. But that hadn't been that serious. They had really just been playing around. He knew that much. What else was there that he knew about her? She hung out with Zane at the dock. But they never really said much. Nothing out of the ordinary anyway. She seemed more drawn to Jaden than Zane, really.

Wracking his brain again, he thought back to all her possible suitors. Harrington had definitely struck out. So had Pierre. And Syrus had never had her. As he thought harder about these guys, he tried to figure out what it was about them that she had so disliked. For one thing, Harrington and Pierre had seemed too confident of themselves. But then again, so did Jaden. So what made him different? Perhaps it was because he was so friendly…and what about Bob? What had she disliked about him? Well, other than the fact that he was a geek and obsessed with game shows, he wasn't sure. Maybe he was just too weak for her. So, what was the perfect type of boy for her? What did she like? Baffled, he scratched his head and glanced over at her in confusion. Girls were so complicated.

"You really think that?" Alexis was asking none other than Aster, giggling.

Aster nodded in response, smirking. This caused Alexis to blush and smile.

"Thanks, Aster."  
"Hey, no problem. Well, I'd better be going. Later." He walked away, leaving her blushing and looking in the opposite direction, a small smile on her lips.

Chazz clenched his fists. How dare he! Just when he thought he had never been more confused in his life. Now, he figured he got it. She liked Aster! That was why she'd always blown all the other guys off. What was it about him? Was it his aloofness? His subtle arrogance? His self-confidence? What? Or maybe…

Chazz smirked, chuckling wickedly to himself. He knew just what to do now.

--------------------------------------------

Later that afternoon, he walked down the path, nose in the air. Spotting Alexis sitting in the grass and looking through her deck, he marched over to her and tried to be as suave as he could.

"Hey, Alexis."

She glanced up at him and did a double take. He was dressed in a white suit, a black dress shirt, and a loose tie. He kept a somber frown on his face while trying to maintain a cool, calm demeanor.

"You're going through your deck? Need any help?" He gave a small smirk.

"Um, yes…" She raised an eyebrow. "What's up with..."

He bent down and picked up a card. "Don't throw this one out. It's a good card. It will help you win."

"But, it doesn't fit into my--"

He looked right at her, trying to be as serious about his next statement as possible. "You can't hide from destiny."

Alexis sweatdropped and stood to her feet, seeing Mindy coming down the path. "So, uh, Mindy, let's go duel…"

The two girls gave him a strange look, then walked away, both sweatdropping profusely.

"Crap!" He seethed, "Foiled again!"

Aster walked over and looked him up and down. "I didn't know I was a popular in cosplay." He mused.

"Shut up, Phoenix." Chazz snapped, storming away.

Aster shrugged. "I wonder what his problem is." Leaning down, he picked up Alexis' abandoned card. "Hey, this is the one I told her to get rid of. Oh, well. I guess destiny took care of it."

He pocketed the card and walked away, all the while muttering about how foolish Chazz had looked.

* * *

**A/N: Ok, crappy ending. I'm sooo bad at those. Anyway, hmmm…he's beginning to think about this pretty hard, eh? But not enough. He made the wrong conclusion. At least he's attempting to use his pea brain. XDDD**


	25. Plan Y

**A/N: We're getting there…just three more chapters counting this one. Two or three more plans…or lack of rather. No, I didn't count wrong. After Plan Z, I have one more chapter. Then…it's over. The moment of truth for our poor friend Chazz. Question is, will he survive?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX or Inuyasha.**

* * *

Plan Y: 

Chazz scratched his head as he sat in front of the TV, trying to figure out how any man could get a girl. Most love seemed to be one-sided after all. It made him wonder just what tactics he could use to get Alexis to at least agree to give him a chance. It wasn't about winning her love anymore. Now, all he wanted was for her to give him a chance. Maybe just go on a date with him and then decide what she thought about him.

He sighed heavily and changed the channel. Really, he was ready to try anything to get her to notice him. He wasn't sure what that would be, though. As of that moment, it seemed as though nothing caught her interest. He pushed away the nagging feeling that she just wasn't interested. The last thing he wanted to think about was how she would never give him a chance. But why did it have to hurt so much? What if all girls were like her in that respect? He might as well just give up. Feeling miserable, he sank into the cushions of the couch and moaned.

Just as he felt as hopeless and desperate as ever, he saw that Inuyasha had come on. Perking up, he began to watch. His eyes widened as he saw how Miroku handled his lust for women. Nevermind that it was lust. Perhaps it would work on anything, or anyone for that matter. His mouth dropped as the conversation basically went as follows:

"Bear my children."

The two girls giggled like crazy and walked off with him, sitting on a bench. "So, which one of us do you think is prettier?"

Chazz stared. "You've got to be kidding me!"

But no, there it was, plain as day. Perhaps if he tried that tactic, she would ask him if he thought she was prettier than all the other girls, which he thought she was. In fact, she was a goddess to him. He probably would have even offered himself as a sacrifice to her if he thought it would work. The only problem with that would be that he'd be dead afterwards.

He rushed out of his dorm and hurried down the path. Spotting her standing on the beach with Jaden, he ran faster. He skidded to a halt, panting. Ignoring Jaden, he got down on his knees, took her hand, and kissed it.

"Fair Alexis," He whispered, "bear my children."

There was a shocked silence. Then, tears came to her eyes. At first, he thought it was tears of joy. But no, they were tears of disgust, horror, and fear.

"EWWWWWWWWWW!!!! NOT WITH YOU!!!! SAVE ME!!!"

He stared up at her, confused. "But, Alexis, it worked on--"

It was too late.

_SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK_

He fell back, stunned. The first four times had been Alexis. The last time, however, had been Jaden. They stared down at him, mortified.

"Leave me alone!" Alexis wailed, running as fast as she could.

Jaden frowned a bit down at Chazz. "Now look what you've done." He shook his head, "You really don't know when to give up."

"But, Jaden, you always say not to--"

"Usually," Jaden groaned, "but this is ridiculous!" He grimaced, looking as though Chazz's attempts sickened him. "Please do us all a favor and give up, just this once. Please."

"But--"

"I give up." Jaden started to walk away.

"I made _JADEN_ give up?" Chazz wondered, "Well, I'll try once or twice more. If that don't work, I'll give up for good. Ya hear that, Jaden?"

Jaden turned and looked at him. "Yeah, I hear ya. Ok, once or twice more. But I doubt that will change anything." To himself, he muttered, "Even I know better than to go about it that way, and I know nothing about love…nor do I really care…" He sweatdropped.

Chazz just dusted himself off and went back to his room to come up with another scheme or two. He only had one more shot at this. After that, it was all over.

* * *

**A/N: I feel sorry for him, huh? He's so stupid. He does need to give up. I'm not even kidding. (sweatdrops) He's only embarrassing himself and those around him. Well, just two more chapters. **


	26. Plan Z

**A/N: Well, it's almost over. I can't continue this any longer even if I wanted to. I'm running out of ideas. So, enjoy the last two chapters. Because, they will be the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX. Angel Duelist 153 helped with this.**

* * *

Plan Z:

Chazz paced his room, wringing his hands. This was it, the final plan. He had to make this good, otherwise, she'd never be his. After all, he'd promised to give up. Fretting all the more, he sat on his bed and held his head in his hands. This was getting way too agonizing.

He began to wonder if Jaden wanted him to give up because he wanted Alexis. It was possible. But wasn't he too interested in Duel Monsters to care about girls? Maybe that had changed. The point was, Chazz couldn't be sure. Where had that come from anyway? Was he really getting so annoying that Jaden wanted him to give up? Or maybe Jaden was trying to protect him from ultimate humiliation brought about by his desperation. Anything seemed possible at this point.

Chazz bit his lip and tried not to worry so much. He told himself it would be all right. However, the more he tried not to sweat it, the more he did. He was on the verge of absolute insanity. He had to get her somehow, just had to. Finally, he rose to his feet, having come up with an idea.

"It's a stretch," He muttered, "But it's a risk I'm willing to take. It's all or nothing now."

Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, he wondered if Alexis was the type of girl to like those really goody-goody guys. If that were the case, then he was willing to change for her. But, another part of him argued, then she wouldn't really be in love with him. Quickly, he pushed the thought from his mind. He was willing to try anything.

Hurriedly, he flung his black clothes off. He pulled on a white dress shirt, making a face. Then, he pulled on some regular jeans. For the final touch, he snapped a "What would Jesus do" bracelet around his wrist. Smoothing his unruly hair down a bit, making it a tad neater, he surveyed himself in the mirror and nodded.

"That has to do." He muttered, "If this doesn't work, nothing will. I'll be really nice all day, and show her that I can be sensitive and I can be friendly."

He ran out the door, hoping with all his heart that it would work.

----------------------------------------------------------

When he arrived at the cafeteria, he found that Alexis was already there. Swallowing hard, he approached her and pasted a smile on his face, even though his knees were so weak he thought he'd collapse from anxiety and stress. Not to mention lack of sleep.

"Good morning, Alexis!" He chirped, "Lovely day isn't it?"

She looked him up and down and scowled, her guard up. "I suppose."

"So, what are you gonna do today?" He asked, attempting to start a conversation.

"Nothing much." She muttered. "But I will be busy enough. I'm going to read and study."

"Oh, um, ok…I'm going to read too."

"Really? That's…great."

"Yeah, wanna know what?"

She rolled her eyes. "What?"

"I'm going to read the Bible." He sighed and smiled wider, "I love church too. We should go to church together sometime. Or maybe we can read the Bible together. It's so--"

"You're such a poser!" She interrupted, looking angry, "Cut it out! Pretending to be religious when you're not is sacrilege! Just listen to yourself; it's absolutely sickening! Don't talk like that unless you mean it. I'm definitely not impressed."

"But I…"

"You do realize that no matter what you do, I'm still gonna reject you. I don't _like_ you, Chazz. You can't force me to, and I can't force me to. So get lost."

He stared at her for a moment, then, looked down. "Oh…well, that was the last time I was gonna try anyway." He forced a laugh, "I'm sorry. I'll get lost."

Hanging his head, he trudged away to go pick up the broken pieces of his life.

She frowned deeper, peeved. "I'm not gonna sympathize with you if that's what you're trying to do!" She called, now skeptical of everything he did, "If this is another one of your ridiculous schemes, it's NOT working!"

Jaden put a hand on her shoulder. "Uh, Alexis, maybe you should chill. He really has given up, can't you see? He promised me that he'd only try this once more…and that would be it. He's done…"

"What?" She snapped, "Aren't you gonna go give him one of your ridiculous 'don't give up' speeches?"

"No, and they're not ridiculous…"

"Look, I'm just ticked." She pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. "But thank God he's done…if what he said was true. Ugh, I've got to go now. I'm getting a killer migraine."

She stormed away, thoroughly insulted.

Jaden sighed. "Well, I guess it was bound to happen eventually. She snapped. But I'm sure Chazz will pull through somehow. Maybe I should go try to cheer him up. Maybe I should've told him why it's best to give up…because" He smiled mischievously to himself, "I have a plan."

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**A/N: One more chappie. O.o And what does Jaden mean by he has a plan? Will it be for himself? Maybe, maybe not…but it won't quite be what you'd expect. Just wait and see…up next, the grand finale! XD**


	27. The Grand Finale

**A/N: Well, final chapter of Chazz's Evil Plans. It had to happen someday. Oh well. It could've ended a chapter ago, but I just HAD to add on. Anyway, obviously, I cannot please all my readers. So, whatever. Some may be overjoyed with the ending, others not so much. Either way, it's gonna be as funny as I can make it. Yay Chazz torture! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX.**

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The Grand Finale

Jaden approached Alexis, hands jammed in his pockets. He stood next to her, taking Zane's usual spot. For a moment, neither said a word, only stared out over the ocean. Finally, she turned to him.

"What are you doing here?"

"What, I can't talk to you?"

"It's not that," She muttered, looking down, "It's just, you're in Zane's spot and if he comes, he won't be too happy. He might just kill you."

"Are you…seeing him or something?" He bit his lip, hoping she would say she wasn't.

There was a long silence. Finally: "How is that any of your business?"

"Whoa, Lex, chill, it's just a question." Jaden shifted from one foot to the other.

"Well, I can't trust anyone these days," She grumbled, crossing her arms protectively over her chest, "I never know when I'm going to be tricked by some scheme. I have to keep my guard up. You understand, right?"

He nodded slowly, beginning to pity her. "Lex, I know what you mean. But I think your problem is that you don't trust in the first place. You don't want to give anyone a chance. I mean, hey, you might get hurt. Or you might like it. Depends on which one is worse."

She narrowed her eyes. "How is that supposed to make any sense?"

"You know what I mean, right?" He blinked.

Groaning, she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I could almost say I was tired of boys. Thank God you're different. You never chased after me, except when Chazz--ugh, God forbid I speak that boy's name again--gave you that 'love potion.' I like you all right."

"Oh, um, thanks." He smiled a bit, "So, are you seeing Zane?"

"No," she finally admitted; then, putting her hands on her hips, she smirked. "What's it to you?"

"Oh, nothing, just wondering…" Jaden laughed a bit.

"Jaden, are you asking me out?'

"Um," He blushed, still smiling a little, "yeah, but not for me."

She raised an eyebrow. "Not for you? Well, that's too bad. Because I was all ready to say yes." She turned her back on him, smirking again.

He blinked, uncertain of what to say. "Oh…well, it's just that, I feel sorry for Chazz…"

An exasperated sigh escaped her lips. "Really? Is that what this is about? Chazz?"

"Well, you have to admit that guy has tried pretty hard to win your attention. Not everything he's done has been nice, but it wasn't easy for him either. It's the thought that counts!"

Rolling her eyes, she turned to face him, the setting sun casting a golden glow on her features. "Jaden, I'm not interested…"

"Well, I know, but just think about all he's done to win your attention. Please, just take a moment to think about it." He insisted.

For once following his advice, she fell silent and pondered it. Everything Chazz had done had been so drastic, but it was kind of sweet. She blushed remembering the time he'd kissed her. It hadn't been that bad had it? Looking back over at Jaden, she felt herself at an impasse.

"Jaden, I don't know what to do…I mean, yes, that was so sweet of him, but I can't be his girlfriend. I just can't. Because…"

"Because what?"

She wrung her hands a bit in anxiety. "Even though part of me likes him a lot…I also like someone else. That's why I didn't say yes in the first place."

"Who?"

"Not now, Jay."

Jaden scratched his head, bewildered. "Um, Ok…"

"Please don't try to force me to be his girlfriend," She begged, "I know that you're his friend and you're just trying to help…but I just can't do it. Not now. I don't know if I will ever. Now, please, just leave me to myself."

Watching her turn her back on him, hanging her head low, he began to walk away. Maybe he should back off for tonight. But he figured that one more question was all she needed to make up her mind.

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The following day, Jaden related his idea to Chazz. At first, Chazz wanted nothing more to do with plans, schemes, or Alexis. Finally, Jaden convinced him to try one more time.

"Remember," Jaden told him as he started to walk away, "Be yourself. And don't be so stuck up, Ok? She doesn't like that."

Chazz just nodded.

"Good luck."

It didn't take long for him to find her. He'd stalked her so long, he knew every hiding place she had. However, as soon as she saw him coming her way, she tried to run.

"No, please!" He grabbed her arm, stopping her, "Look, I'm just going to ask you one question. That's all. After I ask you this, I'll leave you alone."

Alexis, swayed by the thought of finally obtaining peace and his pitiful expression, relented. "Fine. One question."

"Well, first off, I'm just going to say I'm sorry for everything I've done. It was mean of me to pressure you like that and pursue you and all. But, honestly, I couldn't help it. I just liked you so much. I really wanted you to like me, too. But I know you don't. So would you at least give me a chance before you write me off? All I'm asking for is one date. No strings attached. I won't try to kiss you. I won't try to hold your hand. I won't try to make you my girlfriend. Heck, I won't even touch you at all. Just one date. Please."

She hesitated. Then, looking into his sad puppy eyes…

"I TOLD YOU NO!"

_SMACK POW BAM_

He let out a cry of utter heartbreak and exploded into a million bits of multi-colored confetti.

Just kidding.

"All right." She sighed. "One date. That's all."

Chazz blinked, unable to believe his ears. Was she serious? Then, a huge grin broke out over his face. "Thank you, Alexis!"

He almost glomped her, that is, until she held up two fingers in an X. "Don't."

"Right. Sorry." He blushed, looking sheepish. "Anyway, thanks!"

He ran off, jumping and dancing for joy. "Victory, thy name is CHAZZ!" He shouted.

"Oh, hell, no," She moaned, facepalming. "What have I done?"

"You've made Chazz a very happy man." Jaden replied, stepping over to her.

"How do you talk me into these things?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just good at it. Think I should join debate?"

"Jaden…you're too…nevermind."

"I'm too…what?" He blinked, clueless.

She smirked. "You'll figure it out eventually."

"Well, I--"

"Jaden," she interrupted, smiling a bit, "Maybe this isn't so bad. I could use a date. And he's not all that bad, I guess. Even though I have another guy on my mind, I suppose I like him a lot too. And it certainly doesn't hurt to have someone else pay for dinner!"

"You can say that again!" Jaden beamed.

"So, thanks." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

Jaden facefaulted, blushing madly. "What was that for?"

She giggled. "You're silly. I'm just glad, that's all."

"Wait, you never told me who you liked other than Chazz!" He protested as she started to walk away.

She smirked at him over her shoulder. "You'll figure it out…someday."

With that, she headed back towards the Obelisk Girls' dorm to prepare for her date with Chazz. Deep inside, she wasn't planning on it being the last date, either. She'd just surprise him with the news later. Too bad she couldn't date Jaden too. But that was all right. She might still get the chance…someday.

As for Jaden…he remained ignorant of the matter. He was still clueless when Chazz and Alexis got married and had five babies together…just kidding again. He actually didn't figure it out until later that evening…

"Hey, wait a second," He yelled, waking up everyone in the Slifer red dorm, "She likes me too?!!!!"

To be continued????

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**A/N: Sorry about the self-insertion with the "just kiddings." I just HAD to do it. Oh well. Aw, sh--oops. I can't say that word in a T rated fic. Er, anyway, disregarding that…sequel? What are your thoughts? Review and tell me if you'd like to see a sequel in the future…and yes, it can be a parody as well. Maybe like a show down between Jaden and Chazz…complete with all the stupid competitions we all adore so much. Until next time…**


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